Shadow Of Me
by With Victory Comes Sacrifice
Summary: Who would love a monster? The one that sucks the light out of the day and turns hope to sadness? No one in their right mind. That's why he has to trick and lie to get someone to, and that someone just so happens to be a foolish betrothed serving girl. That doesn't stop Loki, though. Loki/OC Rating may rise
1. A Debt

Even among the throng of people and panic as serving girls ran about to fulfill their time-sensative goals I couldn't help but feel totally at peace. A small ray of sunshine managed to fight its way through the dust and find my face, just in time to improve my mood.

That day was busy, that is, busier than usual. That day was Prince Thor's eighteenth birthday and coronation, which meant us serving girls had to really go the extra mile so the entire event could run smoothly. There were hundreds of us, all pushing each other around and fighting to get their own food platter so as not to be reprimanded if it doesn't arrive on the table and to the many and still arriving guests.

"Sigs!" One of my dearest friends Rae was shoving her way through the crowd towards me, her height giving her the upper hand against all the middle sized servants, myself included. Her black hair was pinned up intricately just like mine, the style symbolizing our not so exciting rank as servants.

She finally made it to me, and I slipped off of the window ledge I was lounging upon to greet her.

"Does Chef have a task for me, Rae?" I asked, in an almost negative way. I wasn't really the one to jump at the opportunity to be jostled and mowed over by a crowd.

"Indeed," she replied in her usual cheery way, the ever-present flush in her cheeks giving away her normal jolly and optimistic nature. "She wants you to scope the top floor to see if there are any stragglers who haven't made it down to the ballroom yet. Oh, and she wants you to bring a tray of food so you can offer it to whoever is up there."

I groaned internally, but on the outside couldn't stop a small frown. I only really let emotions slip when they are seriously overpowering because I've been taught that no one cares about a lowly servants opinion, and frankly I'm not that much of a sociable person to let that truly bother me. "Must I bring a tray? We have to use everything for the feast, and there's probably no one up there-"

"Well, Chef is paranoid and doesn't want a single thing to be messed up." Rae leaned in close just in case we had any eavesdroppers, which was highly unlikely seeing as everyone was too intent on doing their jobs to care. "But secretly I think King Odin wants to make them as big as whales."

I smiled at her, then decided there was no time to waste. After being around Chef for so many years I knew not to mess with her when she was frantic or angry. Counting myself lucky that the kitchen door was nearby I stooped in through the low doorway and got into the quick lineup, ready to receive my tray and be off.

Chef, a stout, rosy-cheeked tomato of a women, thrust a platter of cakes into my arms and was about to shoo me away like a bothersome fly, but paused for a brief second and glared at me with beetle-black eyes. "Don't mess this one up."

I nodded quickly and was glad no one was paying close enough attention to see me blush. Us servant girls were given three chances, and my clumsiness landed me with only one left. I fought my way through the mob of hurrying girls clutching trays with the finest food in Asgard upon them, and I was relieved when I finally broke free and made my way to the very top of the Asgardian palace, a place alien enough for me to walk cautiously to it, unsure what to expect once I arrived.

I pondered Chef's words, and nearly tripped on the staircase. With horror I realized she must have caught a glimpse of my shoes beneath my dress. They were an old pair of Rae's that she let my borrow. I knew how much she prized them, since her grandfather crafted them for her personally, and it was extremely thoughtful of her to let me borrow them, but they were several sizes too big and drowned my feet. I wondered if it was a bad choice after all to spare her feelings and say they fit fantastic, since the fear of tripping and getting my third strike loomed above me like a treacherous shadow.

I reached the top floor and noticed right away the lack of torches and windows. That was never a good sign. The dimly lit halls were replicas of the ones below that I was familiar with, but somehow these seemed more sinister, bathing the golden tiles and walls with eerie yellow light.

I passed through, going as fast as the giant-shoes would allow, childishly looking behind me in search of a follower I felt but could not see.

I was walking through one of the last halls on this upper floor, disliking how my arms shook slightly with the effort of holding the tray for so long. I was tempted to put it down for a second, but then my overactive imagination convinced me that this might all just be a test, and a little snitch is stalking me to make sure I don't step a foot out of line.

I simply peered down the last hall, the motivation leaving me to check it. It led nowhere anyway, so I just turned around and decided to let this food go down to the kitchens instead of letting it slowly rot up there in the dust.

I turned slowly, enjoying the last moments of limb freedom as long as I could, then started going back to the staircases from which I came.

Honestly, I would say that was the worst mistake of my life.

One moment I was walking, holding the tray properly with a good grip, the next my foot was in front of the other, the tray jerked out, spilling its contents in front of me. Except there was a person in front of me.

Except that person was Prince Loki Odinson, the brother of Prince Thor!

I froze.

He let out a snarl of disgust and stepped away from me, looking down at his chest to inspect the damage the cakes made to his breastplate, and I'll tell you, it wasn't pretty. He looked at me with such death in his eyes it made me want to shrivel up and die right there.

"I-I" I sputtered, straightening the now clean tray uselessly. Well, of course it was clean, because all of the evidence was on him! "I just tripped and. . . and it just jerked my hand."

He glared at me still, and I was unable to reach his fierce gaze. He slowly scraped the majority of the cake off and it fell to the ground, landing with a pop. I stared at it, my finger desperately trying to find something to fiddle with as my mind raced nervously and my heart pounded at the back of my throat.

"What is your name?" He asked, his voice low and deadly.

At first I didn't answer, my hands tightening my already infuriating tight dress I had to wear on this occasion, making it even more difficult to breathe.

"Answer me!"

"S-Sigyn, your majesty. I finally realized it was a good idea to curtsy, so I did. "Sigyn, daughter of Iwaldi."

He didn't react to the name, and I didn't expect him to, because to him I was just another face out of millions. Though he did say in a cold voice, "And do you know what you have done?"

"Very much so."

"And do you know the consequences for such an action?"

A hundred different scenarios raced through my head, but I only replied with a swallow.

"Just wait until I tell someone about this, they certainly will not be pleased."

Before I could stop myself, panic shrouded my senses and I blurted out, "Please don't!"

I covered my mouth with my hands as he sized me up again with narrowed slits of emerald, his raven hair bouncing off the dim torchlight, as was my wispy blond mane.

"Alright, servant, give me one good reason why I shouldn't," his gaze penetrated my very soul, making me twist my fingers in agitation as my brain grasped for a good argument. I lowered my head in defeat. What could a small, insignificant serving girl do? Al of my reasons would seem pathetic and insignificant. It would be no use explaining I was the only one fit to work in my family, and I needed this job to fund Mama's medicine. He wouldn't care.

"I'll do anything. Just please, oh please don't tell!" I finally pleaded.

He smirked slightly, and I shivered. "How desperate are you?"

I tried to make myself sound strong, but my voice didn't rise above a mumble. "Desperate enough to mean what I say."

Prince Loki laughed straight in my face. "So naïve. "

I cleared my throat and wiped off my palms from sweat hopefully discretely. I was so nervous I couldn't think straight.

He suddenly became emotionless. "I take my debts very seriously. Don't doubt for even a second I won't collect it."

Relief filled my entire being. He wouldn't snitch!

"However," he said evilly, flashing me a grin. "How long I stay silent is not debatable. I won't tell, for now. But if one day I 'accidentally' let something slip. . ." He shrugged.

I bit my tongue so hard I tasted blood. That wasn't fair! I was indebted to him forever, but his side of the bargain was temporary!? I looked away to hide it, but I knew he sensed my displeasure.

"For now, I must be off. I have to change my clothes before I head to Thor's coronation." Loki said casually as I kneeled on the floor to try and clean up the cakes. "Oh, and one more thing. If you speak a word of this to anyone, I will personally make sure you are punished."

With that he melted into the shadows, leaving me to clean up the mess not only on the floor, but also the mess of emotions in my head.

* * *

><p><strong>So, this is chapter one. Does anyone want me to continue?<strong>

**-WVCS**


	2. A Letter

The entire world went a violent red color as the thick fabric obscured my vision, but lucky for me I had numbed myself to this task long ago and it no longer mattered if I could clearly see or not.

My arms were outstretched above my head as the reaction of my movement sent the sheet swirling into the air, only for my to steadily guide it back to the bed where it belonged. I smoothed the top of the sheets for a second before tucking the loose ends under the mattress on either side. After I was done with the bed, I scanned the room for a quick second before nodding to myself and gathering my cleaning utensils.

I made my way to the door quickly, anxious to be done tidying the guest rooms and continue on to my break. Rae promised me she would meet me near the massive oak where we usually slipped away to, mainly for our noonday breaks, which I shamelessly enjoyed.

I opened the door with my shoulder, the cool wood soothing against my rather overheated arms which had been working nonstop for the past few hours. Once in the hall I didn't bother checking to see if anyone was there, because alas I was stationed in the most isolated part of the palace as always, and no one aside from Chef, Rae and Hildr knew where I was, so I scarcely came across anyone.

So to my horror I accidentally stumbled into someone who had apparently been waiting for me outside of the room.

Looking up with a horrible case of déjà vu and a sinking heart, I frantically hoped that it was not once again Prince Loki Odinson.

I did not know whether to be relieved or frightened when I realized it was Hildr.

She frowned at me as I tried to hide my quavering with a shallow curtsy. My gaze was fixated on her intricate salmon colored dress which hugged her enviously buxom figure. I mustered the courage and managed to hold her piercing gray gaze for a second before instead finding her glossy black hair which hung loosely around her shoulders.

Hildr was a valkyrie, one of the most acclaimed in all of Asgard, who just so happened to be training young valkyrie-in-waitings like me. Despite her calm demeanor I knew better than any that her rage was something worth fearing, so I decided to let her speak first.

"Sigyn, I have seen binglesnipe more graceful than you," Hildr shook her head. "Sometimes I wonder why I even bother."

Her words hurt, but they rarely didn't, so I only lowered my head and waited for her to get to the point.

"I have a letter for you," she eventually said, passing me a tattered brown envelope. "And fix your skirts."

I gave her another quick bow before readjusting my rather plain black and white maids dress. On a normal day I wouldn't mind it, because it is comfortable and covers me, but sneaking one last glance at Hildr's I couldn't help but degrade my own attire.

I stepped into my next room, setting down my materials and tearing open my letter after reading who it was from. My heartbeat increased drastically as I skimmed the words, no doubt written by Mama since it was her distinguishable handwriting on the parchment. Once I reached the end my heartbeat faltered for a second and my spirits plummeted.

I reread the entire thing, word by word until I had memorized it, which took me an awful long time since I had trouble reading as it was, but that only made it even more necessary. Mama knew how to read and write, but I didn't, so I clung to a feeble hope that I had misread a word.

Sighing in defeat, I gloomily placed it on the table, then started quickly picking up discarded items and putting them into their proper place. I made that rooms bed as well, with less enthusiasm, so when the covers obscured my vision I was not thinking about meeting up with Rae, but turning over the contents of the letter in my head. To cheer myself up I started to hum a small ditty that my mother sang to me when I was small.

After the thick fabric settled onto the mattress I robotically smoothed it yet again, fixing the loose ends-

I looked up and saw someone was in the room with me.

I shrieked slightly, stumbling backwards and breaking a vase as my hip collided with an end table. The person raised an eyebrow and I went white as I realized who stood just across the room.

May all the Norns save me.

Sporting a much more casual attire than when I had last seen him, almost a week ago, he still flashed his distinguishable colors; vibrant green and gold. He was leaning on the table where I had put my letter, and to my horror it was slightly to the right of where I had placed it, which meant he had read it. I went deathly pale.

He slowly straightened and stared at me, his face slightly showing amusement at my predicament, and then it dawned on me that I had just broken yet another priceless vase.

Ducking suddenly as if my knees were replaced with water, I made a curtain with my hair while my arms shook and picked up the pieces I had broken.

Chanting curses in my head while desperately trying to scoop up as many pieces of clay as I could, I knew I was in big trouble. If only his searing gaze wasn't on the back of my head, maybe my limbs would stop trembling so much-

Suddenly the fragments I had gathered shot out of my hands and rejoined with one another on the side table in a matter of seconds. I stared up in wonder while standing up again, curiosity making my hand reach out as if to touch it, but his voice halted me from its unnerving closeness.

"It would be wise if you would maybe step away from the vase instead of destroying it again."

I tensed considerably as I knew the proper thing to do would be to turn, give a curtsy and thank him for repairing the vase, but fear made my limbs turn to ice.

"Well, Sigyn Iwaldidottir?" My name being uttered through his slight snarl was enough for me to shiver. "Do you lack your manners as well as the ability to look where you're going?"

I swallowed hard, trembling and unable to reach his stern and no doubt scornful gaze, so I swooped into a curtsy. "T-thank you very much m-my prince."

"Your thanks mean nothing unless it is sincere."

My heart crawled up into my throat and stayed there.

"Look me in the eye, then I might believe you."

I swallowed hard again, my hands warm as cold sweat formed. I was already indebted to him, why must he pester me further?

I managed to reach his cold and loathful emerald eyes with my own cloudy blue ones while forcing out in a pitiful squeak, "Thank you, my prince."

Loki scoffed and I lowered my eyes to the hem of my dress, ashamed as he stabbed me with his words. "You pathetic creature. Can you not even give respect to those in higher ranking? Especially when I have already been so kind with you?"

"I-" My unspoken argument was muted in my throat, and he hissed out his words.

"My pity will not last long, servant. Chose your words carefully."

I desperately mustered the courage to say anything to make up for my wrongdoing, but I could not find anything to say that would be worth listening to.

"I am truly sorry, my prince." My voice was low and husky as I battled tears, I was so afraid.

He growled slightly and I desperately fought my emotions. Don't cry, don't cry, please don't cry.

"After our rather interesting encounter last week I decided to ask around." The sudden change of topic shook me slightly, but the new one possibly made me even more upset. He asked about me? That was not a good sign.

Suddenly a small strand of hair that was in my eyes became extremely interesting.

"There is nothing interesting about me, my prince," I said in a hoarse whisper.

"Indeed?"

The word he said in a bemused tone was enough for my eyes to dart up, reach his for a second, then to continue their thorough study of that strand of hair.

"What of your ill mother?"

"What of her?" I echoed, more tersely than I had anticipated, earning a venomous glare from Loki.

"Watch your tongue, servant," he snarled. "I realized the only reason you are employed as a servant is because of your poor sick mother, lying in bed and waiting for her monthly bill so she can drain your already dirt poor family of money they don't have-"

Blood roared in my ears. Anger flared in my chest as my entire body reacted to his spiteful words against my family. I bit my tongue, knowing full well he would not appreciate me expressing how much he had just offended me.

"But obviously you no longer need to be employed here for your dearest mother has thought of a different solution." He jerked his head in the direction of the letter. He leaned forward in an almost threatening way. "In case I don't see you before your departure, I want to make this clear: I don't care where you are, how long it has been or anything. You will fulfill your part of the bargain. Do I make myself clear?"

My fear slowly disintegrated until all that was left was anger. Of all the arrogant, lying men out there I have to deal with the royal prince of them all! Instead of saying something along the lines of "Yes" or "I understand completely", I stupidly let my emotions spiral out of control.

"My apologies if I no longer have time for your petty tasks," I snapped, feeling to insulted and too fed up to bite my tongue for another minute.

But by the Norns holy names, I wish I had with the expression he gave me afterwards.

Terror slammed down on me like a boulder and I slowly stepped back as vexation and loathing radiated off of him so strongly it was almost visible, but even if they were, everything was clear on his face. I stared at the ground hard, an apology on the tip of my tongue when his cold hand silenced it by wrapping itself around my throat.

I choked as he cut off my airway, miraculously right in front of me instead of a bit away. His breathing was heavy and such fiery hate was gleaming in his expression I knew he would have no problem snapping my neck as if it was a twig. I clawed at his hand to try and make him release me, but I knew that was not going to happen.

"You ungrateful, insufferable little maggot," he seethed through gritted teeth. "You dare speak to a prince in such a way?"

I gagged loudly as a response, and he tightened his grip.

"After all the generosity I showed! You deserve to be severely punished."

His breath was colder than his hand on my face and I cringed as the edges of my vision began to go black. His voice dropped to a deadly whisper. "I could kill you. I could, and no one would give a second thought. I could say you smothered yourself in the sheets and no one would suspect anything, since you have known to be a stupid, reckless, clumsy fool."

I tried frantically to claw his hand away from my throat, but I soon realized that every single mark I made was quickly healed, and I knew it was his infamous magic at work.

His breathing slowed slightly and he regretfully let go of my throat. I gasped a lungful of air, but he was not done yet. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look him straight into the eyes. I had no choice but to obey.

"I want you to fully understand that the only reason I have spared you is because I want you to repay your debt," Loki hissed. "Otherwise I would have snapped your neck without hesitation. But mark my words; if the 'petty task' I had been pondering upon before was horrible, find ease in knowing the one I will come up with later will be a thousand times worse."

I started to shake slightly, like prey cornered by a predator. I really don't like that inference.

Yet before I could either agree or faint, he vanished.

* * *

><p>"Sigs!" Rae waved me over enthusiastically. "Over here!"<p>

I forced a smile onto my face as my stomach churned and flipped and twisted in a painful way. I no longer desired to eat anything, but maybe a little time with Rae might make me feel better at least.

Taking my place beside her, I noticed she had finished her lunch long ago and the remains were already disposed of. She smiled brightly, but it faded when she examined my glum expression. "What is wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, Sigs. Don't you trust me?" Rae asked earnestly.

I sighed. "It was Chef again."

"You get pounded with criticism left right and center daily and you still manage to bounce back," Rae pressed on. "This has got to be important. Please tell me?"

After a minute or so of Rae's pleading eyes I caved. "Mama sent me a letter today."

"Really?" Rae's face brightened. She knew Mama was a sore subject for me, and she also knew of her condition. "That is fantastic!"

"Not entirely." I brought my legs to my chest and rested my head on them.

Her brow creased. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Mama has proposed a new idea so I would no longer need to work." I frowned into my skirts.

"This idea was?" She gestured for me to continue.

"To get married."

Her jaw dropped and I sighed once again.

"You jest."

"I would never jest on such a subject."

She stared at me in wonder for a long time before speaking. "To whom? Did she say?"

"A wealthy man by the name of Theoric," I replied, my tone flat and defeated. "He has the means to support Mama through her illness. I have to marry him so he will fund her medication."

"Sigyn, that is. . It is just. . . Amazing!" Rae's face broke into a grin as she patted me on the back. "Your parents managed to get you a husband already? And a wealthy husband at that! I knew that pretty face would go somewhere!"

I recoiled from her touch ever so slightly while staring at her in a mixture of horror and wonder. "What are you saying, Rae?"

"I know, I know," Rae tilted her head to the side slightly. "You may not like it at first, but neither did my mother. After a while you learn to get used to it. Just because your family didn't believe in that tradition then, doesn't mean they can't join the rest of us now!"

I looked away to hide my disgusted expression. She spoke of my family's beliefs as if we were odd and every other family was in some explicit group that mine had yet to join. It was infuriating.

I knew she was upset at the fact that I would be leaving the palace, leaving her behind, but somehow I couldn't feel bad for her. If I left and went away she would feel remorse for possibly a second before turning to all of her other loyal friends.

It really was not her fault she had a personality people could not help but love, yet I started to resent her at that moment. She didn't understand, how could she? I was raised differently, told that I could chose whatever man I desired be that a bartender or a street rat.

Then Mama's sickness was thrown into the picture and everything had changed. It was probably fathers idea.

The letter had clearly stated I would have to leave very soon. It amazed me how rapidly they managed to convince Theoric to wed me. It made me think they had preplanned everything and left me in the dark.

Somehow that made my day a billion times worse.


	3. A Home

**A/N**

**Hope I don't bore anyone. I was hesitant on posting it for that reason. I do wish you will enjoy it anyway.**

**Reviews are welcome.**

* * *

><p>I was jolted awake by the sudden halt of my carriage, disturbing my slumber. My eyes opened a fraction but I instantly shut them once more as tears welled from the sudden and fierce light streaming from the window I had drifted into sleep on.<p>

Stretching my limbs and yawning broadly, I tried to quickly shake off fatigue so I would seem somewhat presentable to my parents. But alas it had been a long ride and I had grown weary of the bland and flat landscape that was my only entertainment.

Rubbing my eyes one last time before opening the door, I stepped out of the carriage and surveyed the scene before my eyes, as it brought back harsh nostalgia.

The rolling meadows were the same, if not more vibrant in their shamrock color than before. The distant forest my father hunted in was still dark and looming, hiding great foes to be conquered out of fun and necessity. The small little hut I called my home was almost the same, but I could tell that someone had taken the time to paint it, and even re-thatched our laughably disorganized straw roof. I even noticed the wooden door was replaced with one that would not make us shiver in the winter months as cold wind blew through it.

My family stood before it, as if someone were painting them, hosting the most pristine smiles and ramrod straight backs, it made me do a double take. Even Mama was there. . .

Before I could get distracted with my mother, my father stepped forward, his smile wavering slightly, telling me he was forcing it a bit. He towered over me as he did to most, making his cheerful mask show his true feeling. Disappointment, but that was no surprise. His broad figure, so unlike my own cast a shadow over me as he extended a hand for me to shake. I marveled for the millionth time how he could even make farmers rags look elegant. The blond hair and ice blue eyes he had passed down to me and a few of my sisters somehow seemed more harsh on his face.

I tersely shook his hand, forcing my own smile. Our relationship just hadn't been the same ever since Mama became ill, with his refusal to aid her as she might as well have laid on her death bed. I was furious; and I let that become clear even in his brain that was so glazed over with pride and greed hardly any emotion surpassed it. Sometimes I even wondered if the heart that beat within his chest was actually stolen, because the man that stood before me certainly did not have the characteristics to be a loving, caring man.

After he stepped aside, it was as if a great lack storm had passed by. All that was in my sights was the family whom I missed dearly when alone in the servant's towers; whom I dearly wished to be in their presence to be jesting, talking. They stood before me with smiles that dimmed the noon sunshine, and I allowed my mood to brighten as well.

"Sigyn," said my youngest sister Nanna. She broke from the picturesque group and I could tell barely contained herself while she walked stiffly towards me. My father scorned at childish behavior, causing Nanna to be one of his favorite targets, other than me. She was a fair bit smaller than me, so I had to stoop down to receive her tight embrace. Her long blond mane and sparkling blue eyes had more life than I could ever have imagined possible. The gray dress she wore was identical to the ones we were all given, yet the telltale chime told me that she had once again put some "finesse" into our "boring as grass watching" outfits.

"Nanna," I said, not able to let go just yet. "How have you faired in my absence?"

"I have been well." I could tell from her slight squirming I was holding her for too long, but she was still polite. I regretfully moved my hands from her upper back to her shoulders so I could more properly see if she had changed. I scanned her buoyant features, but my eyes froze just above her lip where an ugly purple bruise had formed. I went stiff, my eyes narrowing at it, then moving up to reach her eyes.

She shook her head slightly. _Not here, _I could almost hear her say, voice quavering in a way that broke my heart. Her sight dismay disappeared, and she bounced back as she always did. She stepped away as well, though I noticed not to the same side as Father.

I turned to my other sister, Syn, as she stepped forward to greet me as well. Her curly, fiery red hair burned my eyes, reflecting her personality well. Beautiful for short periods, but you could seriously injure yourself over a long period of time. She wore it differently than Nanna or I; tied so it would only spill over her right shoulder. Her brilliant green eyes sparkled like mother's, and I returned her smile when she offered it. What a day it was indeed. Normally me and Nanna combined could barely coax a grin from our stubborn sister. It seems she had missed me.

She approached me, her bad leg slowing her down slightly, then wrapped her arms around me hesitantly, the movement awkward for her, but I didn't mind. It was wonderful to see her again, despite all of our past arguments that came back sometimes with vicious clarity.

"Meet me in the forest when the moon is highest," She whispered. Seconds after the words had escaped her lips she pulled away, examining me for a sign that I understood. I nodded a fraction and she stepped away. All that was left was Mama.

Her normally cherry red hair had shriveled and grayed with age, as had her nearly flawless skin. It pained me to know that my mother could still be very close to death even after the medication I had be funding. It killed me more than her knowing it was not enough.

Yet she seemed to put on a healthy mask for my sake, and I was grateful. I approached her quickly, not caring about Father's scornful gaze on me. I flung my arms around her and hugged her tight as she let out a wheezy laughter that sent my stomach swirling.

"Ah, Sigyn. I have missed you dearly." Her voice reached me faintly through my own frantic heartbeat. Adrenaline rushed through my veins, fueled by feelings I could not still or ignore. It had been too long for me to be away from her, especially when she was in such a state. It's not that I didn't trust Nanna, but I preferred to take care of Mama myself.

"Mama." I was suddenly breathless. I felt like screaming with joy and crying at her fragility I sensed in her shaking torso at the same time. Instead I decided to squeeze her tighter. "I missed you so much, Mama."

She allowed me to hold on for only a heartbeat, or so it seemed to me, then she finally told me I would probably kill her right then if I didn't loosen my grip. I pulled away from her, but a childish grin was upon my face, and she returned it with the strength I saw shine through her illness. I knew she could do it. I knew with all my heart my strong, persistent Mama would fight through this illness and be cured soon enough.

Did it matter the doctors said otherwise?

* * *

><p>"The corn, Sigyn." Father demanded. "I said pass the corn."<p>

"Oh, my apologies," I started, lost in thought. I passed him the wooden bowl, his hand eerily cold, just as I remembered it was as a child when he struck me. My blood boiled as I thought once again of the injury placed on Nanna's face no doubt from him.

Sometimes I wished I could just reach out and smack his pompous face.

Syn sat on my left, Nanna was placed at my right, and Father was across from me on our little rickety table with our wooden silverware and plates. We sat on simply chairs in our makeshift dining area, a mere expanded closet attached to the kitchen. Mama was upstairs, resting. After explaining in painful detail about the castle, she had declared she was spent and had retired.

A thick silence had settled, and I decided to break it. "How does Lofn fair in Vanaheim?"

Syn picked at her food, head resting on her chin while she frowned at her supper, but Nanna eagerly turned towards me to answer. "She sent us a letter not too long ago, and it even contained one of the rare flowers grown there! It's on my windowsill if you would like t see it later."

"I would indeed, thank you." Lofn was one of my older sisters that had gone to study in Vanaheim. The scholars there were said to be exceptional. "And what of Var and Snotra? Have they also sent you greetings?"

Nanna looked at Father hesitantly before answering. "Well. . . not exactly. They sort of, ah, permanently cut us off after they realized their married life was better than the one they had here."

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. That did not seem like something they would do, but as I was faced with the same issue at the moment, it did not seem so far-fetched after all. It made sense for him to marry off Var and Snotra, but why skip Syn and go straight to me? I was the second youngest, and certainly not the most beautiful out of the group.

Before I could open my mouth, Father looked up from his sulky silence to glare at Nanna. "Enough of such talk."

Nanna cowed, ducking into her plate and scooping up spoonfuls slowly, and I felt bad. I wanted to tell Father off, but Syn suddenly straightened and gave me a warning glance.

I tried staring her down, but it was no use. She gestured to a window that happened to be located beside her, or more specifically to the rising moon. I nodded. Yes, I had heard her. The forest. Ye I would never admit that I had actually forgot and her reminding me was helpful.

Some things are best kept silent.

* * *

><p>The moon was almost at it's peak, and I threw on my cloak, ready to trek over the field and meet Syn for some apparently urgent reason. I opened my door, listening for the sounds of Father's soft snoring. As much as it repulsed me, it said he was asleep, and i wanted to keep it that way.<p>

The creak of the floorboards as I walked across them made me flinch. I remembered the last time I was wandering halls alone. I remembered Prince Loki's cruel stare and the way he was willing to kill me for the sake of killing me. I recalled his icy words, cutting into my ears like a blade, promising me that I was making a very large mistake. . .

"Sigyn."

I nearly screamed I was so frightened, and had to clamp a hand over my mouth to stop myself from doing so. My eyes, wild with fear, whipped towards the source, fueled by fright. I turned to see Nanna in her doorway, eyes wide with concern and hosting her own terror.

"I-I didn't mean to scare you," she whispered hoarsely. "A-are you alright, Sigyn?"

I breathed in a deep sigh of relief, placing my hand over my heart and letting my shoulders slump in defeat. I felt foolish, jumping at shadows and far away princes. "Yes, I am fine, Nanna. Is there something you need?"

Her eyes grew excited as she beckoned me into her room, extending her arm and opening her door wider so I could pass through. I hesitated, glancing at the window and wondering if I could spare a few seconds to see whatever she was going to show me.

I decided that it was worth it after looking at her bruise once more. I would ask her about that, I thought while stepping into her closet like room. She used to share it with Syn, but she moved into Snotra's room when she left. I used to share a room with Var, but she left as well, so I got a room to myself. Not like I would appreciate it for long.

I smiled slightly to myself as I surveyed her scarcely bare abode. Different dried flowers hung from the ceiling, different lengths and colors swaying in the breeze. The ceiling itself was completely covered in drawings as Nanna had already taken up every inch of space on the walls. The brushes I had made for her past birthday sat on the floor beside her unmade bed. The curtains were decorated in spastic designs, as she had wanted, and they were billowing slightly from the wind that entered through her open shutters.

She approached her window, glancing behind to check if I was following her. She sat on the windowsill, eyes trained on a small potted plant made of simple clay. The simplicity of the container was made up for by the beauty of the blooming flower within.

I stepped closer, tilting my head so as to examine it from a new angle. It resembled a tree in the way the stem split like branches then sagged to the ground as if the buds on their tips weighed more than they could support. The buds were intricate indeed, and I didn't doubt after further examination that they were heavy. An oval seed that was a vibrant amber color was surrounded by dark green leaves from which it bloomed.

I stood up and turned to Nanna, my grin wide. "It reminds me of you."

She smiled in response, but it wavered slightly as my eyes were once again drawn to her injury.

"Why?" I asked.

Her lower lip trembled slightly, but she tried to still it. Her hands fidgeted in her lap, and she focused on them, ocean blue eyes tearing up slightly. "I accidentally fell asleep while in the fields. Father had gone to the market that day, and I was left with his tasks. He returned and I was not even half finished."

I reached out and took both her hands. They were warm and soft in my calloused and slightly cold grasp. Nanna was too fragile to deserve such punishment. In fact Mama feared for her entering the world in such a way. She was too open, too trusting, too unable to understand that people out there will hurt her. And I began to agree with her after I worked at the palace. They would destroy her.

"Sigyn." Her voice was barely audible, yet her voice called to me loudly, pleading. "How I envy you."

I was taken aback. No one had ever said such things to me before, especially Nanna who was exceptionally more beautiful than I. Not to mention more creative and kind.

"You can join them out there," she said wistfully, turning to stare out her open window. Even though her gaze was on the horizon, I could tell she was thinking about the worlds beyond, all of the sights that she would never get to appreciate if Father kept her hidden like he was ashamed of her existence. "Is it beautiful? Do you think one day I will get to see all the things I dream about? The castles and worlds and creatures?"

The sensible thing to do would be to respond no, to not get her hopes up. Yet as she reached my eyes, my heart melted with shame at even thinking of putting her down like that. I released her hands and grasped her face between my palms, her earnest stare tearing my very being apart.

"Yes." My voice was so certain I started to believe it myself. "You will most definitely."

Her smile was worth saying the words that may one day break her glass heart.

She yawned, and I knew it was time to take my leave. "You need to get to bed."

Nanna nodded vaguely, exhaustion suddenly overcoming her features. I watched as she rolled into her blankets then stilled, her sheets a cucooning her. I smiled warmly even though she could not receive it.

"Goodnight, Nanna." I didn't think she heard me as I made my way to the door, opening it with a creak until I heard her weak and drowsy reply.

"Goodnight, Sigyn."

* * *

><p>I had arrived at the edge of the forest, the moon high above my head and saw Syn there already, frowning at the sky.<p>

"Good evening," I said once I had positioned myself before her.

She blinked but didn't look down, and I thought she was ignoring me. The sound of faint crickets and the swaying of the nearby field filled my ears while I impatiently waited for her reply.

At last she looked at me, her eyes bright and accusing in the moonlight. "You know why you were called home, I presume?"

"Mama sent a letter," I responded, wondering if she or Nanna were paying any sort of penalty for my marriage, causing her temper to stew.

"Incorrect." My eyebrows furrowed slightly. Mama had signed it. . . "Father wrote it and forced her to sign it so you would be more willing to cooperate. No matter, that is not why I asked you to come here."

I nodded vaguely, still troubled. I put my hands behind my back in a hopefully nonchalant manner as she stared me down, her elder nature belittling me with her aggressive stance. Her arms were crossed and her weight was leaning on her back leg, also her good leg.

"I asked you to come here because I wish to speak to you about the predicament." She pushed her shoulders back and glanced at the moon, as if fearing it was listening to our conversation. "I have met Theoric."

I raised an eyebrow in questioning but also curiosity. "What is he like?"

"Boring." My heart sank down to my shoes. I was to spend my life with a boring rich man? But then I thought of Mama, and scolded myself for being so selfish. If it meant she would survive, I would do almost anything. "He enjoys the stereotypical fields: fighting, jousting, and I even heard he made a few servants pregnant."

My stomach churned. I didn't fancy a husband with those attributes. Think of Mama, I demanded myself.

"Here is my real concern: Father." Syn looked at me knowingly. "What if he does not wish to spend the money from your marriage on medicine?"

"What are you proposing?" I asked, despite having a vague understanding of where she pulled her reasons from. "That Father is living up to his scoundrel label and planning to spend the money for Mama on riches?"

"That is exactly what I am proposing," Syn said, her hair looking almost white glinting off the moon. "Do not pretend my thoughts are mislead; you know him as well as I. The gluttony shines even in the way he stands, and reeks off of his face like scat."

"Indeed," I said. "I do not doubt your thinking, Syn. I simply do not think he would go so far."

She looked at me as if I were a child. "Why must you be so irritatingly naïve?"

The hairs stood up at the back of my neck. She spoke eerily like Loki, and even her eyes held the same coldness. The shadows just beyond my vision were taking the prince's shape, glowering at me.

I forced my heart back down my throat. He was not there, he could not hurt me. I chanted words in my head that I didn't believe.

"Sigyn," Syn said, more forcefully than necessary. I jolted from my thoughts and tried to disguise wiping the cold sweat from my forehead as pushing hair out of my eyes, even though she saw my hand shaking. "As I was saying, he only married Mother because of her wealth and beauty, you know that. He adores attention and money. I would not put such a scheme below him."

"Neither do I, but there is not much to be done. He hold the power in our family, all we can do is try and convince him to do otherwise."

"I realize," she responded between gritted teeth. "It makes me feel powerless."

We stood in silence once again, staring at the moon then the forest, never reaching each other's eyes.

"I need to retire," Syn yawned, obviously exaggerating her exhaustion to escape.

"As do I." I agreed with her pseudo tiredness.

"There is one last thing," Syn said, her voice accusatory once more. "Did something happen when you were at the palace to make you so paranoid? You seem to jump at every little sound now."

I met her gaze, a battle raging inside my head. Should I tell her? Spill everything that happened between Prince Loki and I? Confess to the debt I owe him?

"No," I found myself saying. "There is absolutely nothing wrong. I am simply unaccustomed to the scenery. It will fade."

She did not look convinced, but she did not argue or pry, and I was thankful. "If you so insist. Goodnight, Sigyn."

I breathed out, feeling as if I dodged a very lethal argument. I didn't need her condescending words to rain down on me, and lose this strange relationship we share. She would go back to not trusting me, and shatter all the hard work I put into making sure we got along.

"Goodnight." I watched as she started her trek back towards the house, and I felt eyes searing into my skull. I turned, peering into the darkness of the unyielding forest.

All I saw for a heartbeat was a pair of unforgettable emerald eyes.

Then I was alone once more.


	4. A Wedding

**Apologies for lateness, I've been busy, but I promise to update more often. But in return, could you review pretty please?**

**Abby- late, but thank you!**

**L- I will try my best!**

**musicluver246- Thanks for the review, and hope this update helps!**

**sonofabittch- I am so glad you are enjoying it! :D and I'm glad you're not bored! :D**

* * *

><p>"It's. . . beautiful!" Nanna positively lit up the room, and I can honestly report that it was needed since me and Syn's negativity weighed it down.<p>

I spun, waiting for my elder sister to confess her true thoughts, which were going to be brutally honest. I felt like a toy doll all strapped up in fine white silks, and finally she said what was whirling around in my head.

"It's absolutely hideous."

A month had passed quickly, much to my dismay, and it was mere hours until the ceremony began. For my wedding.

I gazed at myself in the mirror, forcing tears back since it would ruin the countless oils they had drowned my skin in, claiming it would enhance my looks. Nanna was the flower-maiden, and Syn was my best lady.

As I turned back to my sisters, I inwardly scolded myself for putting on a dejected expression. I didn't need to ruin this for them too. It was their first wedding since they had not been invited to Snotra or Lofn's.

Nanna wore a pretty dress which reflected her personality well, with bright colors and vibrant ribbons swirling around her midsection and in her hair. Syn sported an elegant forest green gown that hugged her buxom frame and brought out her eyes.

I could hear the chatter of people, in the silence that we used to examine one another, and the sheer volume of their conversations alarmed me.

"How many people were invited?" I asked, my voice hoarse with horror.

"Father didn't say." Syn frowned. "He won't be pleased to see you in such a state. At least attempt a smile."

I brought the corner of my lips up in the shape of a cresent, but it wavered and my true emotions dragged it down again. I groaned in defeat and glared at myself in the mirror.

I was wearing Mama's wedding dress,

She didn't have a choice either; her mother had picked it out for her. She had told me this story hundred of times, or whenever I asked about marriage. She would always say how disappointed she was that she couldn't make her own. She said that if she could, then she would have added some fancy bows on the stomach. . .

I straightened as I recalled the memory of her tickling my torso as she said this.

Mama would say that she would made the fabric more soft than the softest cloud on a bright summer's day. She said that she would do her hair in extravagant shapes. She would then run her own hands through my hair, and that was when I would ask the question, my voice filled with hope and the innocence of youth.

"Mama, who will I marry?"

"Whoever you want." She didn't even have to think before answering. "If you love someone you will do whatever it takes to stay with them, and I believe that one day you will find that kind of love. You and all of your siblings."

"I love you, Mama." She had already blown out the light and was at the door, but still I called to her one last time. "Will you be with me on my wedding day?"

"Of course."

"Promise?" My voice had started to wane, and my eyes had grown heavy.

"I promise."

As the memory faded, tears pooled in my eyes once more before I batted them away. She had gone back on her promises when she got sick; all of them. I didn't get to marry whoever I wanted, and Mama was not among the many people present at my wedding. She had stayed in bed with high fever for the week, and she said she would go anyway. I swallowed my selfishness and childlike need to command her to lay down and rest. It was fine.

But I knew, looking at my exhausted figure in the mirror, clad in numerous vexing fabrics that strangled the life out of me, that everything was certainly not fine. I didn't want to get married. I wanted to go home. I wanted to crawl into bed with Mama and fall asleep in her arms for all of eternity.

But that was not going to happen. I was doing this so Mama could get better, and I was not going to let foolish behavior stand in the way. It was time to grow up. After all, I once heard the village ladies say that marriage is the final step to enter womanhood.

"You are beautiful and brave, Sigyn," Nanna asured me as I sucked in a deep breath and tried to ignore the flare of pain that came from my torso. I tried for a smile. It was no use. I couldn't manage it even as I forced myself to the limit to be cheerful. It just was not going to happen.

"Nanna, you're too kind," I murmured. "And I know you will be an even better bride than I ever could hope to be when your day comes."

Syn stayed silent. I cursed myself as Nanna smiled brilliantly. I had forgotten. Nanna was not to be married, so my father commanded. As he so dreadfully put it, she was to sit and rot in her attic for all of eternity playing with her trinkets and thinking of her childish dreams.

Syn was glaring at me with so much venom, but I preffered venom over the heartbreaking grin Nanna hosted. It was a smile fed on fake promises, though I personally believe that is the reason she is so innocent and kind. She is pampered and stored away in the house. I could never imagine her living the adventures she so coveted. My heart turned cold just thinking of her going into the real world, full of liars and rapists and thieves.

Another reason why I could not ruin this day for her.

It was odd, when I thought of it. I was the bride, but was making an effort to please my bridesmaid and flower-maiden.

But I would do it regardless.

I turned back to the mirror, this time knowing that there was no tolerance for failure. I must enjoy my wedding, for Nanna and Syn's sake. I must not anger my father, or his wrath would turn on my sisters. I must have a straight back. I must fill my head with the stories Nanna told me on calm summer days after our work was complete. I must imagine me and Syn working side by side in the orchards, and I occasionally let her lean on me for support so she wouldn't have to strain her bad leg. I thought of Mama, how I would rather take her place in Hel than live on without her. . .

I smiled, and I could almost see my happiness - that of the past, not present - shine through. I was as ready as I would ever be.

I turned back to my sisters, my friends. I nodded to them, still smiling. Nanna looked giddy, but Syn grinned back ever so slightly. She must have seen it, like a reflection, what I was thinking. She approved, and I felt my back go more straight, if that was possible.

My eyes were shut, but I could hear the first strums on the harp, calling me into the hall. My entire being shook as if fueled on raw energy. I breathed, and my nose twitched slightly. I had been a sevant in Asgard and knew how to mask my emotions well, but not well enough to recoil at the scent of my father who clasp my arm tightly stiffly.

It was time.

I was ready, or at least that's what I chanted in my head.

The doors flew open, and I was the main attraction to an uncountable amount of eyes, some friendly, some strangers. They all were trained on me, and for a second I couldn't move. I wasn't ready. I couldn't take that first step. I didn't want to get married. I wanted to go home. . .

My father took the first step and dragged me with him. Looks like I didn't have a choice. After that first half-step, it was all over. I couldn't go back. It was just me and the altair. I kept my eyes trained on that. I couldn't let my eyes stray to my future husband, or I might have fainted, or screamed, or started to cry, but if I looked at the altair, I could pretend it was a dream. Just another crazy dream.

I arrived and turned to Theoric. My fiance, my future. He was an exceptionally handsome young man with dark eyes and hair with a rather drefinded jaw. He raised his hands to unveil me, and once he did so, I met his eyes and wanted to weep once more.

"Boring," Syn appeared in my mind eye, her knowing green eyes more comforting than Theoric's near black ones. "Made a few of the serving girls pregnant."

I took a deep breath, but seeing her with me, at least in my mind, was enough for me to raise my chin a little more. Nanna joined her, giving me an encouraging smile, and so did Mama. Lofn, Var, and Snotra joined the line of people in my head, all grinning aside from Syn. Var looked like Mama, as did Snotra, and Lofn resembled me. The sight of them made me sad and happy at the same time. I hadn't seen them together like this since we were young. Their friendly faces comforted me as me and my future husband clasped arms, then turned.

As me and Theoric took our vows to be bound together for all of eternity, my family still stood before my mind's eye, dressed in fancy attires and making their backs stay straight for the occasion half of them were not even present for. In my mind Mama was not ill, and my three elder sisters were just as I had last seen them.

Var's mischievous smile widened and she nudged Snotra before whispering something in her ear. Whatever she said made Snotra laugh, and she turned to me. "It seems almost comical how you, the one who loathed that wedding gown the most, has to wear it like all the rest of us did."

I had to restrain a smile from forming outside my own mind's conversation. How iconic; I was tuning out my own wedding ceremony and having an inward discussion with my imaginary perfect family. Did this mean I was insane?

"By the name of the realm eternal, I pronounce thee husband and wife." The second last line in my wedding ceremony rang out, and the image that comforted me shattered and I was thrust into the present. "What the gods have joined let none put asunder."

The hall erupted in applause as me and my now husband turned to one another. I caught a glint of something strange in Theoric's eyes from the firelight, but before I could study it further he leaned in and kissed me. The deed was done. At first I was too frozen to react, but at that moment I knew despite me not being a maiden any longer, Mama's medicine could be funded. My father's rage would be stifled, if slightly. Everything would be better.

So, in the end, I kissed back, as alien as the feeling was.

A million congratulations from a million different people blurred as I was addressed frequently in such a small span of time. At first I acknowledged them and even spoke to whichever person for a short bit, but quickly I became exhausted. I instead just nodded and smiled in their direction. So when Rae, her usual flamboyant self pushed through the crowd to see me, I was too exhausted to be fully surprised.

"Rae?" My words were a bit more sodt than I would have liked as my eyebrows creased. I hadn't realized my father knew of our friendship.

"Congratulations!" She squealed, her grin splitting her face. My own face was tired from smiling, but I managed a half hearted smile. "I caught wind of the date through gossip and managed to work off enough time so I could come and see you! I can't stay long, though."

Even I, who was supposed to be used to her kindness, was taken aback. "Rae, that is so kind of you. Thank you very much, it was wonderful to see you as well."

"It was nothing, after all, we're friends, right?" Rae asked, almost hesitantly. I wondered why, but it was answered in the next sentence she spoke. "You will write to me, won't you?"

"I am positive you won't even realize I am gone," I assured her, but secretly I was intrigued. She had many friends among the castle, which was no doubt the reason she heard of my wedding date, which I was still wondering why such things were circling the castle. Once a servant, always a servant, I guess.

She looked disappointed. "It would be nice to hear from you. There aren't many quiet types like you around the castle, they're more talkative persons, which is alright, except if you have a headache."

I had a sneaking suspicion she was lying to me, but I didn't say anything. There were many more quiet types at the castle. I had a feeling she just wanted someone of her own to vent to, which she often did.

"I suppose I could manage to send a letter or two," I said, and her face lit up. She was an excellent actress.

"That would be wonderful, Sigyn, thank you!" She said. More people were approaching, most likely trying to speak with me, and my shoulders sagged as they came closer. Rae noticed this, and gave me a final smile.

"It was a pleasure to see you again, since I don't know the next time I will. Farewell," she said, nodding and walking away before I could say goodbye.

I was in a carriage, bumping along a secluded road to a mystery destination, and I took this time to try reflect on the day I had. Chaotic to say the least. I had said goodbye to my sisters before climbing in with my husband, and we set off. Apparently my father had made the arrangements, and I didn't know how to perceive that.

It was raining lightly, and I stared out into the deep forest that we rode through on a beaten down path. I decided to ignore my growing sensation of suspicion. Who had a house in such a forest?

I felt eyes on me, and I knew who it was, since we were the only ones in the carriage. I turned for the first time since I kissed him to my husband. He was staring straight at me, and didn't bother looking away when I met his gaze. We stood still for a heartbeat.

"Lovely weather for a picnic," I commented lightly, not entirely sure how one speaks with their spouse, my father excluded as an example. The sky was gray and hazy, and was not at all inviting.

"Fancy one?" He asked, and his response confused me for a second. I had expected scorn. That's mostly what I receive. I studied him and he scoured me in return.

"Perhaps." I turned back to the window, my hands slightly fidgeting in my lap despite my calm demeanor. I knew better than any that a husband could, whether it be discreet or openly, could very well beat his wife as he sees fit.

At this thought, panic started to swell beneath my eyelids everytime I blinked, as though they were tears of the pain I could very well receive. What if turning away made him angry?

"You're a curious one," he said, not sounded irked at all to my relief. "Sigyn Iwaldidottir, a mere peasant with a father nurturing a far beyond bloated ego, in no place of power, and here she is; turning away from her husband disrespectfully."

I clenched my jaw. So he was vexed. I turned back to him, trying to unscrew my jaw so that I could properly respond and apologize. He injected before I had the chance.

"Despite it being a very disrespectful action, I shall let it go just this once, merely because I find it amusing. Yet, if you dare defy me, you shall pay, wife. Do you comprehend?"

"Yes, sir."

"My name is Theoric," he said.

"Yes. . . Theoric." His name sounded wrong in my mouth, like I was trying to swallow a fistful of hay. He must have felt my discomfort, for he leaned forward ever so slightly, mouth twitching upwards.

"There is no need to fear me," he said, and for the first time since being in his presence, I saw a shadow of a smile. "I will not harm you, as long as you do not try and be a slag, or skirt your responsibilities."

I pursed my lips together and adjusted the torso of my dress. He was being kind in a sick, twisted sort of way, at least to me, but I supposed I should take advantage of it while I could.

"This marriage will only be as difficult as you make it," he said, his gaze still puncturing holes in me.

I met his eyes, but I was wary. Syn had described him as borish and regular, not demanding.

"It is because I have not been married before, and therefore this side of me, raised by my father, has not shown until now; when I am across from my beautiful bride." He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and it seemed unnatural. However, I prefered him smiling rather than staring at me strangely. His compliment caused me to blush slightly, but I had a feeling it was to distract me from thinking about how odd this behavior was.

I smiled back, not showing my teeth as he did, but grinning nonetheless. After all, he was correct about one thing; this marriage would be as hard, or easy, as I made it.

And I planned to have smooth sailing from here on out, for Mama's sake.

By the Norn's great and beautiful bows, I was wrong.

I awoke in the middle of the night, startled and scared as a thunderstorm raged outside. I looked out the window, my eyes wide and struggling to get used to the dark surroundings I was in. Finally my beating heart slowed down, and I lay my head on the pillow once more.

Then I proceeded to drown in my own self pity.

There was no going back now. I was unclean. I shivered, naked under the thin sheets. My bare skin need to be covered more securely. My entire existence needed to. I was trembling from the realization I was no longer a virgin. I couldn't escape this even if I tried. Even if I could get away from Theoric, my virginity wasn't intact, so I was no better than a slag, swaying on the street corners.

I clenched the pillow right near my face, trying to fight back tears when Theoric rustled behind me. He moved in his sleep, most likely disturbed by the storm as well. I tensed instinctively until his rustling ceased. Perhaps I could clear my head a bit if I got out of the stuffy cabin we were in for the night. In the morning we were off to our new home. Ready to start a life anew as a housewife.

Yes, I definitely needed some air.

I sat up and strectched, as my body was rather stiff. I reached for the dress I had brought for the next day, but had ended up wearing it as soon as we had arrived at the cabin, unable to stay in the hideous wedding dress a second longer. I pulled it on and sat at the edge of the bed for a second, looking at the window, almost forlornly.

I was just like Nanna now, forever craving the freedom I could never have. I felt bad for comparing myself to Nanna. She had it much worse, but at the moment it didn't feel that way.

Theoric rustled from behind me. I turned my head to glance at him.

And that's when the beginning of the end began.

I looked over, instead of seeing my husband whom I was married to only mere hours ago, he was replaced by a much taller man, with night black hair and emerald green eyes.

My eyes widened. He was awake, he was staring at me. He was naked, in the bed I had just left. My mind was so hazy with pure, raw shock I could hardly even comprehend him sitting up and leaning towards me, a devilish smirk on his face.

I couldn't move, couldn't breathe., couldn't function, until he spoke, his words simple yet hitting me like a devastating blow to the head.

"Fancy a picnic now?"

I did the only thing reasonable in such a situation.

I screamed bloody murder at the top of my lungs while leaping to my feet, my wide eyes locked on him, blinking rapidly to make myself wake up from this nightmare. This could not be happening.

I reached the door, and finally I stopped screaming, my lungs aching but I didn't care. I spun around frantically throwing open the door and sprinting out, down the hall, through the front door and not bothering to close it behind me as I ran outside, the howling wind making my hair slap me in the face.

I staggered and ran, often running into trees and making my trembling limbs push myself off and keep going. All the while the wind pushed against me, lightening illuminated my path, and thunder seemed to reverbate through my very core, reminding me there was no where I could run.

I ran and ran, never wanting to stop, adrenaline pumping through my viens, fueled by terror. It happened so suddenly. Mid-stride my legs buckled beneath me and I fell face first into the mud, the earth trying to suck me in and hold me forever. I almost let it, to be honest, in the state I was in.

But a motivating thought filled me. What if he was following me? What if he was catching up, gaining on me? I could never let that happen. I yanked myself from the ground, my limbs popping sickeningly while doing so. I stood shakily, looking down at myself I my disgusting state for a minute before looking up, ready to run. But there was no point.

He had already found me.

Standing near a tree, slightly leaning on it, fully clothed in his normal attire, Prince Loki stood, more vexed than I had ever seen him before, on any occasion, that be him regarding my personally, or watching from the crowd of servants him stand by his brother's side, gaze cool, calculated. His gaze was still cool, but behind his façade, barely concealed, was wrath.

All aimed at me.

I swallowed, my chest heaving as my back hunched from exhaustion and from the weight of my mud-soaked dress. I shook off some lf the mud from my face and hands as he simply watched me.

I didn't dare meet his eyes. I would probably go insane before I did. I waited a second, hesitantly, expecting him to move, and when he didn't. I turned and got ready to flee again, only to run into him, glowering down at me.

I gasped, looked back at where he was standing, and the illusion of him faded into green mist. I tuened back and tried to stagger away, wanting nothing more than to distance myself from him, but he grabbed both my wrists and dragged me until I was flush against him.

Thunder crackled in the sky and I could barely keep myself from crying. Of pain, of fear, of everything. The real horror hadn't even kicked in yet, and I dreaded when it did.

"Look, at me, Sigyn Iwaldidottir." Prince Loki's voice was somehow louder than the storm, and I cringed when it reached my ears. He released my left hand, my weak hand, to grab my limp face and force it upwards to meet his eyes. Those emerald orbs sparked even more desperation to get away, but he was stronger than me.

"What have you done to him?!" I half screamed, half sobbed out. "What have you done to Theoric?" I knew deep down exactly what he had done. He didn't even need to say it, but he did.

"Theoric has been dead for a long time now," Prince Loki sneered into my face as silent tears rolled down my cheeks, almost hidden by the onslaught of rain. "Stupid girl, you realize exactly what this means yet you ignore it."

I tried in vain to wriggle out of his grasp, using my left hand to push against his chest, but my efforts were disregarded and halted as he twisted my still captivated right arm. I exclaimed in pain and froze. I would not admit it. No, never in a hundred millennia.

"Theoric never showed up to the wedding, and I doubt it was even his last thought," Prince Loki said, highlighting the fears that writhed in my mind. "Yes, you realize. But you refuse to say it aloud. Stupid girl. . ."

He taunted me, but I closed my eyes, screwing them shut and trying to block it all out. This was not happening.

"I am your husband, wench, and whether you agree or not, I have both your willing hand and your virginity," he paused for a second, and I could feel his grip change. "And if you wish to act in such a way to your husband, so be it."

He pushed me away from him, to the ground and I fell into the mud once more. I cried out, but he just looked at me scornfully before disappearing.

My lower lips trembled as I waited for what seemed like forever, making sure he didn't come back. My head lower to the mud, and there I stayed for the rest of the storm, crying my soul out, while the earth hungrily devoured it.


	5. A Prison

**Oh my goodness hello my wonderful readers! It had been about a year and three mo ths since this story has been updated! Crazym I know.**

**I found myself going through some struggles with this story, since it is crazy dark and sad. Very sad. But some people didn't give up, so I thought I'd update again for the hell of it.**

**WARNING: If you are not okay with crazy dark themes, a bit of sexual harassment, and basically Loki being an ass, this is not the story for you! I don't want to upset anyone...**

**lilacflower2 - Your review actually made me laugh out loud! I was thinking the same thing to be honest...**

**tywingfieldtbs42 - Thanks so much! I appreciate your review! :) Poor Sigyn indeed...**

**Guest - I'm so sorry :( Just like I said up there, I decided to update again! But I apologise for any misery I might have caused...**

**I love all you guys so much...**

* * *

><p>I awoke, sitting up, being more confused than I ever had been in my life before. I was in something that was shaking and rattling, which was what had woken me. As my eyes blinked open, my vision seemed different, fuzzy almost. I stretched and yawn, and I realized my face was covered in a thin veil. My limbs were weighed down by multiple fabrics that were also stifling hot, and were comprised of a scandalous amount of horrid color.<p>

I brought my obviously gloved hands up to my face to remove the veil, which I noted was black, as if I was attending a funeral, but I halted my actions as a voice spoke to me.

"I see you have awoken."

My head whipped towards the sound, and I let out a horrible gasp and pressed against the wall as far as I could, but as much as I tried, we were still unbearably close. Prince Loki.

My entire body was sore and stiff, and I would love to explain this was from sleeping out in the rain. My chest heaved, and my expression, I would imagine, was that of a corner animal. He looked unimpressed by my display of fear, and adjusted the cuff of his shirt calmly until I sat again, still staring at him with wide eyes. Wide eyes through a veil I doubted he could even see through. I could barely see out of it.

Prince Loki seemed so disturbingly calm in the situation we were in it was frightening. I clasped my hands together, then it took no longer than a few moments for me to get distracted by my glove. I pulled it, twisted the strange fabric, and placed it back on my hand. Fine, if he wanted to play this little game, the least I could do was entertain him.

"I expect you to be on your best behavior." He spoke to me as if I was a disappointment of a child, or a bad pet. I didn't even falter at my fiddling when he spoke.

The tone of his voice reminded me of my father, the way my father grabbed my neck and hissed in my ear to smile on special occasions. Wrath consumed me, and that steadied my resolve.

"Did you hear me?" He asked scathingly, and I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was looking straight at me, looking for a response.

Of course, like the fool I was, I replied, but my tongue did not abide in my wary mind's commands. I would not simply say 'yes' in a polite tone. I had to make things complicated for myself.

"With a tone such as yours, how could I not?"

I continued adjusting my glove calmly, despite sensing his vexation. It felt satisfying to give him lip, even though warning bells rang in my head. I got my line, now I could be silent and not anger him any more.

"Watch your tongue," he commanded, trying to control his temper

"I apologize if you didn't know what you got yourself into," I said, but my victory only lasted a second. He slid over to where I was sitting and I tensed, my eyes closing and my hands curling into fists. It was all I could do not to scream.

I felt powerless. He could make me cower with just his presence. My thin façade of strength was obliterated, and deep within my chest I felt helpless. I wasn't just dealing with a boring, ordinary husband, I was dealing with a Prince, the Prince of Asgard, for the Norn's sake. He could do whatever he would like to me and no one, not even my family, could help me.

His arm snaked around my shoulders as he forced me against him. I flinched, my eyes screwing shut in horror. He rest his forehead on the side of mine, breathing in and the simple action made me want to break down and cry. Prince Loki had caused me too much agony up to this point, but I would be a fool to assume that he was done.

"Listen to me, and listen well, pet," he purred, his tongue glazing the words and causing my muscles to clench simultaneously. I tried to recoil away from him, but his hand moved up to my cheek and he brought me even closer. "You will behave, you will be grateful, and most of all you will rejoice in my decision of not brutally murdering you the second your stupid excuse for a life tripped in front of me."

I let out a shaky breath, trying to pretend he wasn't there, his cold hand not holding my face to his. I tried to ignore the way I could feel him smirk through my veil. Darkness danced on the edge of my vision as I struggled to not pass out with fear.

When he finally released me, I tried to steady my breathing, looking at my clenched fists that were trembling ever so slightly.

I finally uncurled them, and my fingers felt numb, as if they were housing all of my rage. Why was I dressed up like this? Prince Loki had already taken his place across the carriage from me, and he was thankfully silent. A tear dripped down my cheek, and I turned away, despite knowing he most likely couldn't see me with the ridiculous veil.

Another tear fell, then another. I didn't make a sound. As much as it pained me, I had been through worse before, and knew how to cover up any sound of my tears.

* * *

><p>I woke once again to Prince Loki's hand wrapping itself around my forearm and dragging me closer to him. My eyes did not open until we were half way out of the carriage, and even when my feet hit solid ground I stumbled.<p>

I could hear various chuckles, and I straightened, trying to blink the sleep from my eyes to see where I was, and what Loki had done to me. Beyond my veil it was dark. I assumed I was outside because I could smell smoke and the various scents of a common marketplace.

Prince Loki still did not loosen his grip on my arm. He barely paused to acknowledge the bystanders no doubt laughing at me. The dress I was wearing was confining, and even though walking was difficult, I forced myself to not succumb to the urge of just slumping over in defeat.

The previous night was a blur still to my sleep-muddled brain, but I know I recalled never going back to the cabin where I had lost my virginity. Had Prince Loki dragged me back, washed me up, then put these awful clothes on me? But for what reason?

I got my answer when a gruff male voice called to Prince Loki from somewhere to my left. "Another whore for the royal chambers?"

At that remark, more hoots of laughter and calls of jeering reached my ears. I bowed my head in shame, my ears ringing and my face bright red. I had to assume Prince Loki was smuggling me into his royal Asgardian palace disguised as a common whore. Everyone knew Prince Loki and Prince Thor sometimes picked women off the streets to become their royal harlots.

This is what I had become. Another tear strolled down my cheek. I wondered how Mama would react seeing me this way. She wouldn't care if Prince Loki was a noble. She would march right up to him just to give him a few solid blows with her wooden spoon. I hiccuped then smiled through my misery.

Even thouh she was far, far away, Mama would still probably leap out of bed - ignoring her sickness completely - and walk to Asgard just to knock on the palace doors until they let me out if she knew what was happening.

Yet she did not. No one did - not Nanna, not Syn. Not even my father. I wondered if Prince Loki would pay him still.

If my father wasn't paid, he would probably track Prince Loki down to the ends of all the nine realms just to get his coin.

Surprisingly, the thought of any member of my family - even my father - following me at this moment gave me strength, but not enough to lift my head.

The change in smell made me guess we had finally reached the palace. Mildew and rot reached my nose. Were we in some kind of cellar? Was Prince Loki going to throw me into a dungeon like a common thief?

Fear gripped me, but when the smell that wafted through my veil changed to that of spices and freshly baked bread, it intensified.

So I was not to be a prisoner. Prince Loki was most likely taking me to a secluded place in the castle to hide me away for all of eternity. That scared me even more. If I was a prisoner I could be alone. There was no guarantee that Loki would not come and do horrid things to me.

My lack of sight made it difficult to see where I was going, but it seemed that we had not met any people since the marketplace. I could feel a bruise forming where he touched me, and my breaths were uneven from my crying.

After countless ascending stairs, tripping over myself only for Prince Loki to snarl at me to get up, we paused for a second, and Prince Loki released my arm to rummage through his pockets. I could see that much, thanks to the torch beside what looked like a door.

Prince Loki unlocked it and pushed it open with ease. It was fairly big, and reminded me of the rooms I had to clean often. Once again he grabbed me arm and hauled me inside. He closed the door behind me.

I blinked heavily, trying to scope out the room I didn't dare remove my veil for fear of angering him even more.

Yet in less than two heartbeats his outline loomed beyond my covered vision, and his hands removed it exactly like he had done on the day of my - our - wedding. I swallowed, blinking rapidly as the air that blew past my face hurt my dry and tear strewn skin. My gaze came to rest on his green-plated chest. My throat bobbed as I swallowed another sob.

"This is your quarters," Prince Loki said. His voice seemed distant, but I turned my head to examine the room I was in despite the knots in my stomach that made me want to scream. I looked over the room; it was large and spacious, with a big bed and not much else. It looked barren, dusty, and the farthest thing from home I could conjure in my darkest daydreams.

I kept looking at the room despite knowing that I had scanned every part of it. Prince Loki grabbed my face, his large fingers pressing into my cheeks as he turned my head back to face his own. My lips were puckered against my will, and I knew I looked humiliating.

His gaze was intense, and it made fear bounce through my heart and rage envelope my body simultaneously. However, I tried to keep my expression bland. All I wanted was for him to go away.

"You will stay here. There will be locks and enchantments on this door to ensure no one will find you," Prince Loki informed me. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his tone hosted no room for further discussion. Prince Loki's striking emerald orbs studied my expression then descended to study the rest of my body. I felt exposed, disgusted. He had seen what lay beneath my clothes, and yet he pretended he needed to rediscover everything all over again.

His mouth curled into a smile, and I swear it would be less terrifying if he had sneered at me instead. His hold on my face loosened, his fingers releasing my cheeks and coming to rest at my chin to prop up my face. I could feel red marks forming on my skin where he had touched.

With his other hand he laced his fingers through my hair and combed it back from my face. I flinched away from his touch, but he pretended not to notice.

"Sigyn Iwaldidottir," Prince Loki purred, his expression sickly sweet. His gaze was hard and I couldn't release it. "For all that you lack in brains you make up for in beauty."

I struggled to keep a straight face and not show how insulted I was. The image of Mama smacking him with a spoon quickly calmed me. My face must have shown a tiny twinge of mischief, because his eyes narrowed.

"Don't think everything I said yesterday has become any less true," Prince Loki said through gritted teeth. Now I was struggling not to show the triumph I felt. He was frustrated. "You will be a good wife or you shall pay."

I blinked slowly, and the hand that had been tangled in my hair ripped itself free. I gasped in pain, but I had no time to express it further. That same hand found itself wrapped around my waist, and soon I was flush up against him once more. The hand at my chin cupped my cheek, and soon I was close enough to his face to count every fleck of colour in his eyes. Our mouths hovered over each other, and even though I tried to pull away, he was stronger than me.

I whimpered, trying to twist my way out of his grip but he held fast. He puckered his lips slightly, commanding me to be silent with a quiet, "Shh."

I finally stopped struggling, but I continued blinking rapidly. Our noses were touching and the hand on my waist was trailing its fingers up and down my side. Even through the heavy dress the feeling of it made me shiver.

"This is your final warning," Prince Loki hissed. The intensity in his stare was mesmerizing, and I felt my eyes grow wide as I drowned in their rich green colour. "You will be a good wife. Or I shall make sure you will pay."

I am sure that most women, esteemed or not, would have loved to be where I stood in the next moment. Many men as well would love to have the opportunity that I did.

Yet when he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, I felt like I should reciprocate by biting his lip. I should have pushed him away and spit in his face. Instead I let him. I did not react, I did not kiss back. It felt just as strange as when he was wearing Theoric's face at our wedding. But I knew at that very moment, when he threatened me, took me away from my home, and forced himself upon me, that I loathed him.

I was not lucky, I did not find it secretly arousing, I was angry.

I didn't care if he was a prince, a nobleman, my husband. He was rotten and cruel and I would not humor him. I would not stoop to such a low level.

I closed my eyes and waited for him to release me. I did not open them until he unwound himself from my body and stepped away. I folded my still gloved hands in front of my waist, and looked at the prince with an expressionless gaze.

He looked at me with such a face I didn't know how to react. He was wrathful. He was vexed. He was insulted even. Suddenly I didn't feel as sure of myself. He opened his mouth and my resistance waned.

"Stupid, ignorant peasant," he spat, turning his body towards the door. "You do not wish to obey your prince? Your husband? Fine. Let us see how you behave when all your family's savings are removed-"

"No!" I yelled, speaking over him. I lurched forward when he started to turn away. I grabbed his nearest arm with both of my hands. I looked up at him with eyes as wide as the moon, I'm sure. He looked down at me as if spotting a bug on the ground. "Please."

I forced myself to straighten, releasing him quickly and placing my hands at my sides firmly. My face contorted into sorrow, begging him with my eyes.

"Forgive me, I'll-" I spoke, choking on my words a little while lowering my head. He shifted to give me his full attention. "I will do anything you ask, My Lord. My family has not done you nor the royal family any harm. I beg for your forgiveness."

I waited, my gaze cast downward as I swallowed any more humiliating words. I was grovelling for my family's sake. Not for my father's, necessarily, but for Syn. Her bad leg would mean she would have even more trouble going about her days without her pain medication. For Nanna. If the savings were removed, she would have to find work. The world would break her. Most importantly, I was begging for Mama's life. Without money for her expensive medication, she would die quickly. I was willing to cast aside my pride for my family's sake, if for anything.

I waited, the sound of my beating heart and rushing blood blocking out everything else. My eyes examined the boots I was wearing.

A few moments passed and soon another pair entered my vision. I once more felt Prince Loki's cold hand on my chin. He studied my face. There was less anger and more puzzlement. I looked crestfallen, no doubt.

For what seemed like the hundredth time that day, a tear leaked out of my eyes when I blinked. I sniffed, and Prince Loki's face closed up. He showed no expression as he watched the small drop make its way down my face and land on his hand.

He looked back up at my eyes. He was unreadable, so I waited for him to react, to hit me, to scream, to say something. Finally, when he spoke, his voice was low and filled with an emotion I didn't understand.

"Your father required Theoric's family to pay him every month in return for your hand in marriage," Prince Loki said. "I wondered why any family would be so willing to pay so much for one serving peasant to be a daughter in law."

I swallowed, my throat dry as I waited for him to get to his point. He took a long pause, then started again:

"You needed your job here to pay for your family, didn't you?" Prince Loki stated. It was not a question, yet I nodded once as a reply. Another tear escaped from my eyes, but he ignored it this time. He looked straight into my soul. "Your father is a foolish man, but I will give him his money. Every month."

He released me and took a few steps back. I didn't know whether to be confused or grateful. He seemed to be apologising, but I could not imagine a man such as him saying sorry for anything, even in an indirect way. I once again folded my hands in front of me.

As much as I still despised the Prince in front of me, I couldn't help but feel a bit more wary of him, and also a bit more confused.

"Thank you," I said. I had no reason to, but I omitted those words regardless. Prince Loki gave me a strange look, but when I blinked it was replaced by the gruff expression I had come to expect. It was almost over exaggerated.

"In the wardrobe you'll find something to wear," Loki told me, his voice hard as usual, as if the moment we had just shared had evaporated and I was once again misbehaving.

Yet it had happened, and the proof was the tear tracks adorning my face. Yet he didn't look at me. Instead he turned around and marched out of the room. He did not mention that he was going to bring me any food, despite the fact that I had not eaten in over a day. The door slammed behind him and I jumped.

The echos of his departure quickly faded, but still I didn't move. I clenched my jaw, and I suddenly felt exhausted. Even though my family was safe and my father would get his money, just standing in the cold room that Prince Loki had brought me to reminded me that I still hated him.

I hiccuped, turning my head to glare at the only bed in the room warily. I shivered, the room not well insulated. There was a few large windows on the left side, but the curtaind were drawn and I was too tired to try and yank them free.

Instead I took off my boots, shedding my veil and gloves but kept on the hideous dress. I folded them nicely, my fingers trembling as I climbed into the bed that smelt of mothballs. I wished I was able to go and visit Nanna. I wished I was able to fly away from that horrible room, that horrible fate, and crawl into bed with Mama.

I wished I had never bumped into Prince Loki that day. I wished I wasn't the way I was so I could have just curtsied when I saw him and continued on my way. I wish I wasn't such a clutz. If I was more like a lady, maybe I would be much happier than what I was at that moment. If I was less clumsy, chances were that Mama wouldn't be so sick. And as much as Syn and Nanna try and tell me otherwise, I'll always blame myself for the pain she endures.

But wishes were for children. So instead I cried and cried until my head throbbed and I fell asleep.


End file.
